All We Know Is
by PinkFairy727
Summary: In which Owen is awestruck, Ianto is embarrassed and a well known TV star calls in for a chat. Jack/Ianto implied.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Torchwood or Top Gear.

**Authors Notes: **A short story for Erin Giles who is having a stressful few days.

* * *

"What's he doing here?" Gwen asks, staring at their visitor in awe.

The man- if indeed he is a man– is standing perfectly still in the middle of the Hub, dressed in plain white racing overalls and a white helmet. Nothing of his face is visible through the dark blue, tinted visor and there is aura of intrigue surrounding him.

He doesn't do anything- he just stands there, arms folded across his chest.

"The Stig is in the Hub," Owen says quietly, almost as if he cannot believe what he is seeing and a look of hero-worship on his face.

"I think the more important question," Toshiko retorts, ignoring Owen who is one-step away from drooling, "is _how _did he get in here?"

"_The Stig _is in the Hub. _Our _Hub."

"Yes, we have established that, Owen," Tosh snaps, waving her hand in front of Owen's face to try to get his attention. It doesn't work, he continues to stare at The Stig who doesn't notice or care about the attention he is receiving.

"We still need to find out how he got down here without setting off the door alarm," Tosh continues.

"Some say that he can over-ride an entire CCTV system with just the click of his fingers and that he can silence any siren with only a glance."

"You're not funny, you know" Owen tells Ianto, finally snapping out of his daze. Gwen starts to giggle, still watching the unmoving Stig while Tosh mutters curses under her breath as she tries to get the CCTV cameras back online.

"I was in the back room and saw him do it through the door," Ianto replies. "He walked into the Tourist Information Centre and clicked his fingers at the camera."

"You mean you just let him walk right into the Hub and you didn't try to stop him?" Owen asks indignantly.

Ianto blushes slightly and raises his hand to rub the back of his neck. "I was a bit distracted," he says, his eyes darting towards Jack's office of their own accord.

Gwen giggles again and tries to hide her smirk behind her raised hand. "I'm assuming your distraction has something to do with why Jack came running downstairs all flustered."

Owen looks from Gwen to Ianto and then to Jack's office where Jack disappeared to seconds after The Stig appeared. "I _do not _want to know why Jack decided he needed a shower."

Suddenly The Stig moves, slowly unfolding his arms and walking over to Tosh's desk where the quantity and volume of swearwords has been increasing steadily since The Stig's unscheduled appearance.

Tosh squeaks, not noticing The Stig is behind her until he rolls her chair to one side. They all watch with baited breath as they wait for The Stig to do something, _anything_.

He stands still once more, staring at Tosh's computer (while the team stare at him) until, suddenly, the computer on Tosh's desk emits one solitary beep and then flashes as a window declaring that '_All CCTV cameras are now back online_,' appears.

Everybody continues to stare at The Stig as he returns to his previous spot in the middle of the Hub and folds his arms again.

"Well?" Ianto asks Tosh who is now clicking away at her keyboard.

"Everything's back online…" Tosh replies softly.

"And…?" Owen says as Tosh's eyes widened and she lets out a quiet 'Oh,' of approval.

"Everything's running faster and that code's new and that programme wasn't there before…" Tosh's sentence trails off as she gazes at The Stig with a look of pure admiration.

It is at that moment that Jack bounds out of his office, his hair damp and wearing a dark blue shirt instead of his previous, lighter one. Nobody comments, though Gwen has a wide, mischievous grin on her face and looks like she wants to start giggling again.

"So, Stiggy," Jack declares, bouncing down the stairs from his office and giving The Stig a friendly pat on the back before leading The Stig into his office.

"What can we do for you? That Clarkson bloke isn't harassing you again is he? I can reintroduce him to Janet if you like?"

The team watch in amazement as The Stig follows Jack up to his office, shutting the door behind him. There are a few seconds of silence before everybody moves at once, using elbows and fingernails to vie for the best seats in front of Tosh's computer to watch the live camera footage of Jack's office.

* * *

**Like it? Love it? Loathe it? Let me know :c)**


End file.
